Dealing with the passing of a loved one can be overwhelming. The majority of us just don’t know where to start, or who to talk to first. There are several steps you should follow, in the first instance, when someone you love dies in the UK.
What Do I Do First?
1 – Do Nothing .This may sound like an odd thing to say, but don’t rush into calling anyone straight away. Generally, if their death happened at home and everyone was expecting it, then just sit and care for your person. Moreover, you can do so for as long as you like. However, if you felt strong enough, you could care for your loved one right up until the funeral. Nevertheless, the majority of people do seek the help of a funeral director.
Contact the Doctor. What if they were under the care of the doctor? In this case the Doctor will need to be contacted as the death needs to be confirmed. This doesn’t have to happen straight away. Take some time to process the information and sit with your loved one for as long as you want to.
Once the doctor is in attendance,they will issue a ‘Medical Certificate Cause of Death (MCCD). This generally issued if they can certify the cause of death.
However, if the death was sudden or unexpected, you should call emergency services in the first instance and let them take control from here.
What do I do if the death of your loved one was very sudden
3 – What If the death happened very suddenly or unexpectedly? What if the doctor is unable to issue a Cause of Death Certificate? In this case contact the police and the ambulance service.
They will arrange for a medical examiner to determine the cause of death and issue the necessary paperwork.
4 – Register the Death. You must register the passing of your person within five days in England, Wales, and Northern Ireland. In Scotland you eight day to register the death.
Registering a death takes place at your local registry office and usually takes around half an hour.
You will need to take the MCCD (if available) with you and provide information about your loved one. The information includes their full name, date, and place of birth, occupation, and their usual address.
Making The Funeral Arrangements
You’ll need to decide how you want your person cared for. You can either contact a funeral director to arrange for transportation to a funeral home, or make alternative arrangements. You could look after them yourself until the funeral day arrives. There are many organisations and support groups who can help you to look after your loved one. Even up to right up to the day of the funeral.
Choosing To Use A Funeral Director
By choosing the services of a funeral director, they generally take care of the majority of the funeral arrangements. They arrange dates and times with the crematorium, burial ground or the church and collate all the necessary paperwork needed.
At this point you can contact me or a celebrant of your choice directly. You do not have to entrust the funeral ceremony to the celebrant offered by the funeral directors. You can contact whoever you wish.
6 – Making the Funeral Arrangements. With the death now registered, you can now start to make arrangements for the funeral or memorial service.
This may include choosing a venue, deciding on a burial or a cremation. Or making arrangements for any religious or cultural ceremonies.
Top Tip!
You do not have to have the funeral service or a celebration of life at a crematorium or a chapel!! That’s right! Hold it in the local pub, sports club, in a theatre, or a community centre. You can even your host the ceremony in your own home and garden. A celebrant will officiate the ceremony with a beautifully scripted life story. You could have singing dancing, readings, candles, anything you like as everything is possible and best of all……….no time constraints! Finally and once the celebration of life service has closed your person can then be taken to to the crematorium,. This could be for a direct cremation (no service) or taken to the burial ground.
7 – Notify Relevant Authorities: You will need to notify various government agencies about the death. This includes banks, insurance companies, pension providers, and utility companies. Lastly, you’ll need to cancel any subscriptions, memberships, or services the deceased had in their name.
Most importantly of all….get support. Dealing with the death of a loved one is emotionally and physically draining. It’s so important to take good care of yourself, therefore accepting offers of support from friends and family can be incredibly beneficial.
You don’t have to go through this process alone. There is help out there if you need it. Don’t feel you have to do everything all by yourself, you don’t. MIND is a fantastic organisation who really can help with the grief and pain losing a loved one causes. The link takes you to a page with a list of organisation ready and waiting for you.